Quitting while you ahead – #ATOZCHALLENGE

Yes another movie quote, I told you I love watching movie. But this one in particular, is different.

Quitting while you’re ahead is not the same as quitting, mean when you are successful and you stop doing it, is not the same as stop doing something at any other phase.

Many times in my life, I quit doing something when I was doing it better than anyone. Like one time, my teacher ask me to be a class monitor, putting the agenda of electing a person by whole class in to the Dustbin. Because I was a good student and I simply decline.

Life has given me so many opportunities, like throwing it on my feet and I just walk away from it, just because I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be that person who is just fed-up doing same thing again and again. Until people tired of you.

Always trying something new is my type. In my jobs, in my life, in my writing style. If I keep writing same old romantic story than one day my readers will think, it’s only thing he knows.

Risking, getting new experience, put my self in a bad situation and turn in around. You only got one life, try everything. Fail in everything. You don’t need to be expert in a single subject.

So my friend, life is big banyan tree. You have thousands of branches and thousands more roots. Don’t just grow in a single way.

Pinakin, remember my name – #ATOZCHALLENGE

Pinakin, its name of the person who is writing this post. Now you must be thinking why he is writing a blog post on his name. Because my friend, every name has a story to tell.


The origin.

When I was born, it was my grandmother who insisted to name me, so she chose the name Pinakin. Actually she thought of naming me “pinakpani” but thank god, she didn’t.

The definition.

The original name “pinakpani” mean one who hold bow name Pinak, it’s actually one of many names of lord shiva, the same bow lord Rama broke in order to marry sitaji. Yes lots of ancient history in it.


Pronunciation

I have been suffering my whole life with it, people find this name amusing but don’t know how to say it, so after many years one of my friend told me, hey your name is like that one of star wars guy, Anakin Skywalker. And I was like yes, finally. So you can say it like Anakin with PI. Pee-na-keen like this, yes it’s weird.

Deliberate misinterpretation

Who wants to make fun of me, doesn’t need to go far away and search reason, my name is enough. Making funny name out of it is so easy then finding my mistake. Few of them make it so vulgar that I can’t even share. Now I just don’t care.


Nicknames

My family and my cousin and my aunties and uncles who is closely related call me “pinu” my few friends too. Most of the teacher call me by my surname. My one ex called me pumpkin cause I also look like one and one special friend call me piku, yes like the movie. One interesting fact, my school friend met me after many years, and he ask me, hey you have put wrong name in your Facebook, I say no it’s Pinakin. So he say no your name is pinatin right? For so many years I thought he maybe has problem speaking my name and he thought it was my actual name.

Remember the name.

Why? Because I believe, in my heart, that one day, every one will know my name. I don’t  know how and when I will be famous, but I know I will. So at that time, you will be like one of few who actually know how to say it.

Because the person who said, what’s in a name? He writes his name below

Ordinary with “extra” silent – #ATOZCHALLENGE

Pin dropped silence in hall, just a few Whispers among the students, betting, when he will stammer? When he will stop speaking so we laugh. Maybe half the population assume the same.

That boy came to the stage, he saw every one, his friends and every one else who is just waiting for him to make mistake and then he leaves, conquering the crowd. In his two year in that school it was second time everyone claps for someone in daily prayers where students have to explain a wise qoute.

It was 2006 maybe, that boy was just introduced to internet, that time it was yahoo messenger was like Twitter. So he started to chat with a Thai girl. That girl said, why so many typos? Don’t you know English? He said no, girl said then go and learn English first.

That boy ended up speaking and reading it so good, that he can complete a whole novel, size of 1000+ pages in few hours. He can speak confidently that everyone think he studies his whole life in English medium and be able to write in this atoz challenge.

So moral of the story, don’t judge people from their inception. I was born and study in little school from a little village, in Gujarati medium. I stammer thru my high-school. I am not extraordinary, I am just ordinary person, with little extra silent in the beginning.

Notorious, Noughty, Naive – #ATOZCHALLENGE

I was standing there, eyes at the floor, my father asked, did you break that? I just move my head and say no. He asked again and I say no.

Few days later, my father was shaving and I stand there, 10 feet away, and I said I broke that phone few days ago. He asked why? I said I didn’t want to break at, I just wanted to make it smell good, so I pour whole after shave bottle in it so the person on the other side can also smell it. And my father laughed, later on he told everyone and everybody laugh. How innovative I think and end up breaking things. I was not even 10 year old.

Then I was 6 or 7 year old, my family visited my relatives, there was an uncle, very old, as old as my grandfather. He instantly falls in love with my cuteness. He sits beside me on swing, it was big one, with plate of rice and curd, which was my favorite and let me watch whatever I wanted to watch on TV. It was a horror TV show and one hideous figure came in the screen, I just say, you look like him, thank God he didn’t listen and my mom change the topic.

Actually I thought if you tell people that they look like person on TV, it would be a compliment. But I didn’t know when and whom. We still laugh on that incident.

I was stupid when I was a kid. Like too much innocent and naive. If people asked me anything, I will tell them. They would give me chocolate and ask me about what happening in my family. Those people are also my relatives or neighbors, just nosy.

My few cousins, most of city kids, are cunningly smart, they make fun out of me a lot. Broke things and blame it on me. I was stupid so I can’t out smart them, but I am glad that I was stupid and didn’t loss my innocence.

Cause now, after so many years, when I look back, I am happy that I didn’t hurt anyone, bully anyone, make fun out of people. I was good kid. And I am happy about that. But for the record, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice and you damn make sure that you find the deepest hole in the ground, because I will find you and I will make you regret it. Cause I am not that kid anymore.

My girl – #ATOZCHALLENGE

Was it sound of wind blowing, touching and kissing the leaf and move away swiftly leaving him dancing around on its own branches or it’s her voice?

Was it smell of the first rain, hitting the ground and making wild love to the soil or it’s her’s ?

Was it the dark clouds, swimming in the blue ocean, shadowing the sun and shining like a dew drop or it’s her hair?

I will never know, you know why? Cause I am deeply, madly, crazily in love with her. Yes my girl is not a fictional character, but rather a beautiful soul who can even make word “beautiful” go and find its superior synonyms.

After two relationship, which is long one and unfortunately with heart breaking ending, only an insane man can think of falling in love again. Trust me when I say, it’s hard to confess my love to her but it was harder to even think about loving her.

But she was wild spirit, an untamed unearthly, unbelievable person, cute as anything you can think of, beautiful beyond my words and I was surprised that she liked me too.

It’s like we both had crush on each other and then I was her best friend (I am still now), and telling her that I love her mean losing her forever, I was in the friend zone.

But I tell her, and she said yes. Not easily though but finally I get the girl I love.

They say nice guy don’t get the girl,

They say once you are in a friend zone you be always in it.

They say sentiment is a chemical defects found on the losing side(Sherlock said that).

But there is always someone who can gravity defying, who say, hey you can fly, you just need to believe in it. And so did I.

Lady in a pandemonium state – #ATOZCHALLENGE

Don’t look bewildered, it’s just some fancy word for being confused. This story based on true event.

I was in the college, and there was a beautiful girl in my class, now I also have girl friend but she was different. She was so fashionable and modern, like she is far ahead of all the surrounding girls.
At first, I also thought she is beautiful but her behavior changed my perception.

She has ego size of the north pole. Always full of her self. Like she didn’t even count us as a human. She always has people around her who praise her like goddess, yes she was spoiled rich.

From deviant art

I don’t like a bit of it. I always try to be normal around her, do not give her much of attention, because that’s what all she needed. If she ever talks to me, I will reply her with same attitude she uses.
At one time, she wasn’t present in the class and our professor was not in a mood to teach us, so she said let’s play truth and dare. She will ask each and every student truth and dare and then so forth.

When it was my turn, she asked, with little mischief, whom do you like the most in girls from this class? I was confused, I look at my ex girlfriend (she wasn’t my girlfriend then) and hesitate, professor got the reason, it was wrong question.

She said OK as a sister, whom do you want as your sister? Without even blinking, I told her name, the girl with ego. Whole class taken aback. He chooses the most beautiful girl as a sister. I know why I did it, so I smile.

From deviant art

After few day on Friendship day, we accidentally bump in each other. She was with all of her friends at that time. She asked me point-blank, why did you choose me as your sister? It was the biggest insult to her from her point of view.

I didn’t say anything, but after she insists, I simply said. OK you don’t want to be sister, then what else you want to be with me? It’s like do you want to be my girlfriend. And she shocked, speechless, everyone around us laughed. She just been become butt of joke.

After that, I got her respect and no ego around me. So moral of the story is if you want teach someone a lesson, take away one thing they seek the most, in her case it was attention towards her beauty, when I made her my sister, she became furious that how can someone refuses to see her beauty and reject to be her friends. I was different.

Karma is Jason Bourne – #ATOZCHALLENGE

The teacher slap him and hit him so hard, he fell down from the stairs. And I was standing there smiling, my lips were making an arch as much as it can spread.

One and half year ago from that incident, I was new in town, just completed 10th and join in a new school for 11th science, new people, new school, that’s made me nervous and I became introvert. That one and half year was worst part of my life. And that guy who I m just talking about is the reason behind it, he bullied me whole time.

I am peaceful person, I don’t engaged in fight, I am not that handsome and a fight will make my face even more hideous. So I didn’t defend my self from him, he broke my favourite lunch box, he make fun of me in front of entire class, I didn’t utter a word, I just wait and wait untill karma get my revenge.

I believe in God, infact, I believe in every God, I grew up listening of stories of each and every religion. I believe in a higher power who always watch over me, if I get hurt, maybe it’s because he had other plans for me but in my heart I always know, that person who hurt me won’t get away from it, he will be punished 10 time harder and it happens every single time.

You see karma has way of doing things, if someone hurt you and you hurt them back, eventually karma will get you, because you interrupt his work, you don’t need to do anything, karma will do it for you.

Karma is a Jason Bourne my friend, he has way of working, he won’t let injustice happen, if you are right then karma will be always in your side. He will hit them hard in place, in time, they won’t ready to take those hit.

Bad thing about karma is, you cannot control it, if someone hurts you and that someone is close to you or your family, they won’t be go unpunished .yes that happened with me too.

So right now, there is bully in Twitter who is harrassing me and few other good people, at first I was mad as hell but then I remembered, be calm and patient my friend, cause karma will find him and make him pay for all his sin.

They say karma is a bitch, I would say, boy because you are on the wrong side of it.

Journey to get lost -#ATOZCHALLENGE

Not all those who wander are lost.

  –  J. R. R.Tolkien for The Lord of the Rings.

I am a wanderer, I don’t like to stay in cubicle or office or at home, I could just go away in the unknown and find my way back.

My father love going out and he love to take whole family with him, we own a car and we have gone so far that only few man, bold enough to went in a car.and he drive Only him self. That’s how I wanted to feel.

When I was little, I go on the walk with my little dog(I will tell you about that dog on last day), kilometres and kilometres without looking at watch.then I got my bicycle, and I am a free bird, I used to cycle to nearest town which was 12km and other was 7 km away, daily. People from my village used to get stunned by watching me so far away from home, cause I was “Big man” you know.

Then there was once I traveled by train at night with my friend, it was spontaneous decision, we were talking about it at 10 and hop on the train at 12am midnight, it was one the scariest travel I did. Train was full, no space for even air, I was last to aboard and I was standing at the edge of train door on the second step of it, and then it’s rain, my hand was slipping but somehow I managed to hold on for 4 hours. Ofcourse we had lots of fun, with little money.

One of my biggest adventure was walking for 50+km, yup 50km. It was some festival, and people walk to that temple in dvarka. My friend came and told me, he said let’s go, and I was ready without thinking it for a second, we pack our bag next day  go for it.

We walk and walk on the highway, then in night too, there are literally thousands of people on the road, both side. Every two kilometres, there was a camp for food and to rest, then in midnight we were alone, and tired don’t know where to go, few others found us and guide us to nearest camp, it was through the jungle, road was messed up, we were tripping because of dark and we were tired, finally we found the camp and sleep after 1am, at 4, it was big speaker with load music wake us up and we started walking again.

Next day I was exhausted, after 4 pm afternoon I told my friend, this is it, I cannot move ahead one step and I sleep at nearest camp, after evening I walk little more and find a bus to that temple.

We head back together, I walk 50, he walked 100 but we both tired as hell, we sleeped whole day and our body ached for a week.

I used to walk around town anywhere I go, without direction, I just go and go and when I feel like I am lost, I find another way. It was way before Google map. Now I just walk around in same town. I am albatross, life can’t cage me at one place. There is issue because of money, I don’t know the meaning of savings you know. But one day, I just want left everything behind and walk, like that guy in, “in to the wild”.

I want to be lost, no mobile no communication, no worries. Cause after you lost, only then you found yourself.

I am legend – #ATOZCHALLENGE

I am no one, it’s a matter of fact a fact.

I don’t possess money or a statue or any superpower.
I am just a simple human being with extraordinary problems.i have been struggling my whole life and it’s just doesn’t seem like ending very soon.
But after all this year, few of things I am proud of, like I have freeky general knowledge, you ask anything and I will answer it as much as I know. I mean anything.

I am good at chess, not a great one but I am proud of it, play a game with me and judge, maybe I will loss but I will give a hell of fight.

I am good company, you can pour your heart out.So many people had share so many secret with me.i was there best friend at one point.

I am a writer, yes not so good one but I am happy with my self. People don’t just read what I write and that’s my dear is not my problem.

I maybe no one but you have to believe in something, what you believe, you become that. I am an underdog, I am anonymous, I am just another person from the crowd but I will be someone cause I know it, I am a legend.

Hound of Baskerville – #ATOZCHALLENGE

If you had read my previous blog on atoz challenge, you should have known till now that, it’s not about that story of Sherlock Holmes.its a metaphor. But in a way it’s an accurate one.

From deviant art

Let me take you to the place, I often visit,It’s dark, any man can stumbled upon this path, and flounder to remain in the path, but let me assure you, you don’t wanna go down that road, it’s raining, hardly visible, you see a humanly figure emerging from far away, steadily moving towards you and just when you think, you can greet him, he run and try to bite you, yes he was a zombie, welcome to my nightmare.

I am getting nightmares from childhood, and now I am getting used to it, at first I was so frightened, I used to pee in my bed, but ofcourse I was very little back then, then I started writing at age of 9 or 10, all this gory things came to my dreams, is now my inspiration.i write about it.

Then I realised, hey, you don’t need to be afraid, it’s just a nightmare, I remember explicitly that I tried harder to control my fear in many many nightmares, but I just couldn’t, because they are so real and believable that I flaw with them. It’s not anyone’s fault you know, at age of 7, I read the Dracula and many books like that so it was matter of time, they arrived to visit me.

In my teenage years, I simply understand that I have to be strong enough to make my self believe that it’s just a dream and I need to wake up from it, pinching my self to jolting myself.i had tried everything, but it was like a maze, more I tried to escape, more complicated it becomes.

Finally, I surrender, for a better reason, why waking up when you can experience something out of the world. I don’t try to control my dream anymore, I just be in it and let me take anywhere it want. From zombies to world war, falling from sky to drowning underwater. I had so vivid nightmares that I feel like I was in advanture.

One time, I saw a dream, I was running, actually catching up to someone, and it was big godown, when I finally catch him, both on the floor, I see a big truck, tearing up the wall, falling down on the ground in slow motion, it was terrifying at first but to experience it, was awesome.

So never be afraid of your nightmares, let it enjoy so much, that nightmares turn in to a wonderful dream.

From deviant art